《唐伯虎点秋香》搞笑群人英语小品剧本

Act 3
地点：West Gate of Hua’s house
人物：唐伯虎，秋香，石榴，惨人，假死人
道具：“旺财”，1手帕，“小强”，2卖身牌，1棍子，4凳子，银两
旁白：第三幕，华府西门口。唐伯虎为追秋香，化装成贫民意图混进华府。

唐：You can't move no matter what happens! OK?

假死人：Take it easy! Leave It to Me
（假死人躺在车上装死）

唐：Cheap man! A brand new cheap man for sale.
Come and have a look! I’m so poor!
（石榴和秋香出门）

石榴：Are you selling yourself to bury your dad?
But it's not lucky to see a dead body early in the morning.

唐：l don't want, too.
Why don't you be merciful ['m?:siful]仁慈的；慈悲的；宽容的
buy me please.

石榴：What a pity （怜悯同情遗憾）? We need a workman indeed, why not...
（这时又来了一个人，推着木车，车上躺着六个死人，这人还口吐血，极其悲惨）

惨人：l am poor, l want to sell myself to bury my whole family!

唐：Kidding?!

惨人：Be merciful, my family died last night.
l am sick withtuberculosis [tju:,b?:kju'l?usis] 肺结核；结核病too, why not buy me? May be, I’ll cut half price!

秋香：He is miserable ['miz?r?bl]悲惨的；痛苦的；卑鄙的; why not buy him to be our workman?

石榴：（哭）So, buy him.

唐：Lady, first come first serve, l come first.

秋香：lt's not a matter of priority [prai'?r?ti]优先；优先权；优先次序；优先考虑的事. (作者编辑：admin) www.nx899.com

石榴：Leave It to me. He has to bury his whole family and you have to bury your dad only.
l do want to help you, but it's difficult for me to buy two.

唐：But, l am miserable too.

石榴：Then show me how miserable you are.

唐：Well, l...
See how dirty are my fingernails?
lt's miserable, right?
（惨人的小狗突然死去）

惨人：（痛哭）Wong Cai, don't die! Don't die.
You have followed me for a long time, you're so good to me.
But l have never given yousufficient [s?'fiS?nt] 足够的；充分的 food.
l am damn [dæm]可恶的 sorry.

唐：（唐伯虎看见一只蟑螂，喊“小心啊！”，石榴姐一退，将蟑螂踩死了。）
Watch out!
（悲痛欲绝）Xiao qiang, how are you?
Don't die, Xiao qiang, don't die.
We have suffered for such a long time,
l treated you as my relative.
How can you leave me like this…

石榴：Sister Qiu-xiang, they are both miserable, what'll we do?

秋香：Let's wait and see.

惨人：（走到唐伯虎跟前，两人对峙）
Damn! Brother! Wait.
Look at you, you look rich. Why not go home and make a poor look first? Look at me, l am thin, and see the abscess ['æbsis]脓肿；脓疮On my hands!
l am really miserable than you.

唐：Pal, don't challenge ['t?ælind?]向…挑战 me. l hate to be challenged.

惨人：So what?

唐：Are you pushing me?

惨人：l am miserable than you, so what?

唐：Damn! Go to hell（）去死啦! （唐伯虎拿起一根木棒将自己的胳膊打断）
唐：See, my whole hand is broken.
Who is miserable now?

惨人：Don't go too far!

唐：lt's show-hand, so what?

惨人：l'll play with you.
OK, l will show-hand too.（拿起棍子砸自己的头，血流如注）
Are you playing tricks with me?
l don't want my life either, let's see how you can compete with me.
Who is miserable? （说完，倒地身亡）

唐：Bravo [,brɑ:'v?u,]喝彩，好极了! You are really great. See you next time!
石榴：Hey, he is dead, l can buy you now.

唐：Really?

石榴：Yes.

唐：5taels [teil] 两；银more please.

石榴：How can you raise your price suddenly?

唐：l want to bury him, too.

石榴：What a good heart you have! Let's buy him. （拿出银子）

秋香：Come early tomorrow morning.

唐：Thank you, Miss Qiu-xiang.
（秋香进门时对唐伯虎一笑）
唐：Such a tempting ['tempti?]吸引人的；诱惑人的smile!Mom, l have got it.


Act 4
地点：The backyard of Hua’s house
人物：唐伯虎，四香
道具：1诗集， 1扇子， 2凳子，1桌子
旁白：三香在放风筝，唯独秋香在看唐伯虎诗集。

冬香：Higher! Make it higher! lt's funny...

夏香：Look, it’s high, it’s so high.

春香：Qiu xiang, come here, let’s play together!

秋香：You play it!
（手拿诗集，继续看）
（唐伯虎在旁边作偷看状）

唐：Qiuxian
秋香：Hua an, why you are here?

唐：Qiuxiang is as beautiful as flower，so many girls are cling to him.
I (Hua an) want to appreciate Qiuxiang’s appearance.
秋香：Boring! Why are there so many nonsense rubbishes in this world?
l wonder, is Tong Pak-Fu the only ideal man in this world！
Only a romantic man...can write such romantic poem!
'The temple is located inside the peach blossom garden.'
'There is a fairy of peach blossom.' (作者编辑：admin) www.nx899.com
'The fairy of peach blossom planted the peach blossom trees.'
'She traded the flowers for sweet wine.'

唐：（唐才子模样站到桌上）
'The people thought l was insane.'
'But they don't really understand me.'
'Can't you see the graves of the heroes?'
‘No flowers, no wine, but who cares?'
（秋香与才子模样的唐伯虎含情相望）
唐：l love this poem!

秋香：You recited the poem of Tong Pak-Fu.
ln fact, it's a kind of insult.
You are not qualified to recite his poem。

唐：l couldn't help telling you the truth...

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