《唐伯虎点秋香》搞笑群人英语小品剧本

Act 1
地点：The backyard of Tang’s house
人物：唐伯虎，祝枝山，仆人甲，仆人水
道具：文房四宝，鸡翅，2穿翅杈， 3桌子，1凳子，背景音乐
旁白：唐伯虎，于明宪宗成化六年庚寅年寅月寅日寅时出世，故名唐寅，又因属虎，故又名唐伯虎。唐寅聪明绝顶，诗画双杰，位居江南四大才子之首，为当时男女老少所崇拜的偶像。

（唐伯虎手执毛笔，用酱油刷鸡翅膀）
仆人甲： Master, isn't one dish of soy enough?
唐伯虎： Slowly, please.
仆人甲： Many people come for your paintings, why don't you bother?
唐： I have no mood to draw. Give them two more baskets of rubbish, that's it.
仆人甲：Yes.
（出门时在门中碰见祝枝山）
Mr. Zhu.
祝枝山：Ah, Brother Tong.
唐伯虎：Hey, Brother Zhu.
祝：Help, Brother Tong.
唐：l think you must have lost all you money again.
祝：You understand me so well.
唐：Among the 'Four Scholars', everyone knows you love gambling.
Having no money, to live comfortably', it is your motto, right?
祝：You are flattering me! You're born to be a free-liver. In fact, you are much more luckier than me.
唐： But... you lose so much money per every two days, and you come to seek help from me after losing money, l don't think l can help you forever.
祝： Sure! Because of that, l tried to risk for the last time.
But l lost the money which l could earn till my death.
That's 300,000 taels.
So, l have to beg you to draw 30 paintings...in order to save my life.
唐： l see, I see.
Shui, go out first.
仆人水： Yes, master.
唐： Damn you, don't you think l owe you that? You need 30 paintings?
No way!
祝： Please! lt's my fault,l am now begging you to forgive me.
Also, l always help you to sell your paintings which make you get rich!
Some loan-sharks are waiting for me outside,
They want me to get 30 paintings of yours within one hour.
Otherwise, they'll kill me!
Will you help me or not?
唐： One hour? Well, since you are my brother,
l will write your lament for your funeral.
Say, 'A bastard' or 'A scumbag', which one do you like?
Choose between these two.
祝： Pak Fu, don't be that mean to me.
l swear if l gamble again, let me marry with the worst woman, ls it OK?
唐： You made such worst oath!
OK, l will save you for the last time.
Man, give me the stationery.
祝： You are such a heroic friend, so righteous!
（唐伯虎作画）
祝： Wow! It is pretty good!


Act 2
地点：A river side, on the street
人物：江南四大才子，如花，一女子，围观者，四香，石榴，华夫人，丑婢女
道具：4扇子，丝巾，伞，小刀，2凳子，背景音乐
旁白：第二幕，江南四大才子结伴出游，众女子兴奋观看。

一女子：Look, the 'Four Scholars' are over there.
（四大才子摆pose，众女子倾倒）

一女子：Go and have a look,

祝枝山：We come here for a tour.
That’s why the girls are that crazy.

文征明：Pals, why not has a poem competition?

祝：Very good idea!
Why don't you start first? Brother Wen bin.

周文斌：l am the best in this field.
'There are many geese under the mountain.'

文征明：'They rushed down to the river.'

祝：'Let's roast a goose.'

唐：'After roasting, you'd better go home for a screw.'

三人：Good, very good. Very good!
（三人笑，唐伯虎逛笑）

祝：There is something attractive.
See, there is a beauty on the bridge. She seems to be lonely.
Why not show us your talent about how to court a girl. (作者编辑：admin) www.nx899.com
To let us learn from you!

唐：Well...

周文斌：lt's the welfare for your friends, so?

唐：l am glad to demonstrate it.
三人：Go.

唐：Miss.

如花：What's the matter? （一回头，竟是如花！）

三人：Go, go...

唐：May l put my head on your shoulder?

如花：ls it OK? No, l am a girl, a decent girl.

唐：l know, l want to make my friends happy, that's all.
ln fact, l am Tong Pak-Fu.

如花：So what?l don't know you.
l will shout for help if you don't leave me alone.

唐：How about paying you 1 tael?

如花：1 tael? Who do you think l a.m.?
Make it ten.

唐：That's too expensive, why don't you rob?

如花：Right, l am robber.
Give me all your money.
（两人乱打，最后如花被唐伯虎打落河中）

三人：What's wrong? （赶到桥上）What’s the matter?

文征明：No need to punch her like that?

唐：Robber! lt's a ladyboy!

三人：Ladyboy?

祝：l love it. Hold it. （祝枝山将折扇递给文斌，跳入河中）

文征明：Damn it. He is being the first to!

（华夫人带众人去拜神）
春香：Look, so many people!

夏香：Yes, it's crowded.

华夫人：Chun-xiang, Xia-xiang, shut up,

四大才子：Heave yourselves.
What's going on?

某人：Madam Hua and her 4 pretty maids have come for worshipping.

周文斌：The maids are all pretty, especially Qiu-xiang.

唐：Who is she? Who is Qiu-xiang?

文斌,征明：Look! That way.

三人：Qiu-xiang.
（秋香回首一笑）

唐：Damn, she is not pretty at all.

周文斌：You know, pretty woman is like flowers.
You'll be all eyes for its beauty if some leaves are around.
Look once more.

三人：Pretty woman!
（一整排回首，旁人皆成丑女衬托）

唐：Woo, she is really pretty!
Let's go in the temple together.
To look for fun!

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